a geeky journey back to child like faith

If I’ve learned one thing during this church plant, it’s that I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough and not everyone likes me. Earth shattering? No, probably not, unless you’re a person like me who wants everything to be perfect, who has a desire for everyone to like them, and who thinks every message should shake the very foundation of Heaven!

That’s just not reality. I have learned that it’s not by my skill, talent or charming personality that God will work or grow a church. The cool thing is that it’s not my LACK of skill, talent or charming personality that hinders what God can do. I’ve watched this Church grow; I’ve watched other church planters do amazing things. They have style, great teaching ability and awesome stories. I look at all of these things then I look at myself and wonder “How am I supposed to do that?”

It’s hard to see myself in that role just a few years from now. It’s nearly impossible for me to imagine having a successful ministry, and I have really beaten myself up about it. However, God has started to show me things; just little things that have made me stop and say….oops.

As God has moved in our church I have realized that it’s not my church plant, it’s not our church plant, it’s HIS church plant. God will grow and move whether or not we have fancy lighting or sound equipment. Sure, we do what we have to do in order to be prepared, because we want everything to be done in excellence. But that shouldn’t be a barometer for a successful church or ministry. God see’s our hearts, He moves in those moments where His people genuinely go after him.

I’ve been forced to look at myself the way God looks at His church. I’m not perfect, far from it. I have flaws and issues. I’m bad at math and sometimes I get a little road rage, but that won’t stop God from using me as long as I stay open and willing to do His work. As long as I get out of the way and let God be who He is. God used Jeremiah, and Jeremiah was pretty scared. In fact, Jeremiah pretty much told God that he wasn’t good enough or smart enough. We can see how God used him. All we have to do is put ourselves forward, step up to the plate and let God blow it up.